Wedding Bells reports that 20% of engagements take place in December, but Valentine’s Day is also a popular time to pop the question. Historically people have used other types of jewelry and gems to propose, but in 2013,  the Jewelry Industry Research Institute reported that 75% of brides wear a diamond ring.

If you propose with a diamond ring, it is largely as a result of a hugely successful advertising campaign from De Beers, one of the largest diamond companies in the world. In 1947 De Beers launched its promotion for diamond engagement rings with the slogan “a diamond is forever.”

Between 1939 and 1979, the company’s marketing budget soared from $200,000 to $10 million per year, according to The Atlantic. Over the same period, its wholesale diamond sales in the United States grew from $23 million to $2.1 billion. Also over the 40 year interval, De Beers went from recommending spending one month’s salary on an engagement ring to two month’s pay.

I was not able to find Canadian data, but according to the Knot’s 2015 Real Weddings Study, Americans spent an average of $5,871 on engagement rings, up from $5,855 in 2014. Wedding bands for the bride and engagement rings combined cost between $5,968 and $6,258.

Each individual must decide how much to budget for an engagement ring, but regardless of the amount you plan to spend, you need to understand what to look for when you are shopping for rings. First of all, the price and value of diamond jewelry is influence by the 4Cs: color, cut, clarity and carat weight.

It is of primary importance when you select stone(s) and a setting that you are dealing with a reputable jeweller. It may also be advisable before you finalize the transaction to have an independent gemologist appraise the stone(s) to ensure you are getting good value.

In addition you should receive a certificate from your jeweler (sometimes called a grading report). This is a complete evaluation of your diamond that has been performed by a qualified professional with the help of special gemological instruments. Each stone bears its own recognizable, individual characteristics, which is listed on the certificate.

Here are some other important things to consider when selecting stones and a setting for an engagement ring.

1. Understand your partner’s taste in jewelry
   White or yellow gold? Old fashioned or modern? Chunky or delicate? Diamonds only or embellishment with coloured stones?
2. Ring size
   Borrow a ring he/she already owns and trace the size. You can always have the ring re-sized after you propose but there may be additional cost. Also, who wants to take the ring off and part with it for days or weeks while adjustments are made?
3. Favourite shape and cut
   Diamonds come in a myriad of cuts ranging from square, round and oval to pear shaped. A diamond’s cutting style refers to its facet arrangement, rather than its shape. The fewer the facets, the more visible any inclusions will be, so a cutting style such as a step cut (a.k.a. emerald cut), for example, requires higher clarity in the diamond.
4. Setting
   The setting can vary from a solitaire or single stone, to a large stone with small stones on each side to three stones of the same side. A halo stone is where a center stone is surrounded by tiny gemstones  (usually diamonds), to add sparkle and give the appearance of a larger center stone. The setting you select will depend on a combination of preferred style and your budget.

No matter how much you pay for your ring, speak to your home insurance company and decide whether you should have it specifically listed on your policy so it is insured in case of loss or theft.

I lost the pear shaped diamond from my ring at the gym several years ago. In spite of the fact that paying a premium to insure the ring was no fun, I was quite relieved when my policy reimbursed me for the considerable value of the lost stone.

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Written by Sheryl Smolkin
	Sheryl Smolkin LLB., LLM is a retired pension lawyer and President of Sheryl Smolkin & Associates Ltd. For over a decade, she has enjoyed a successful encore career as a freelance writer specializing in retirement, employee benefits and workplace issues. Sheryl and her husband Joel are empty-nesters, residing in Toronto with their cockapoo Rufus.

By Sheryl Smolkin

According to weddingbells 65% of weddings in Canada take place between June and September with 25% of weddings taking place in the month of August. I don’t know the month when the most divorces are granted, but according to 2008 data from Statistics Canada (the last year for which it was reported), the divorce rate has been relatively stable for the last 20 years, fluctuating between 35% and 42%.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m a big fan of marriage. In November of this year we will celebrate our 40th anniversary. But considering what’s at stake, it’s well worth asking your prospective spouse a few important questions before you say, “I do,” so you don’t have to unravel the whole thing a few years later when you realize what you really meant was, “I don’t.”

Here are 10 things I thought of. No doubt you can think of others:

1. Religion: How important is religion to each of you? If you are of different religions will one of you convert? If you have children, in which faith will you bring them up?
2. Children: Do both of you want children? How many? How soon? If you cannot have children together is it a deal breaker? Would you consider adoption if all else fails?
3. Childcare: Did one of your parents stay at home to care for you and your siblings? Do you believe there should be one stay at home parent in each family? If so, which one?
4. Abortion: Legally a woman gets to make the decision if she is going to terminate a pregnancy. She may make this decision in a variety of difficult circumstances including personal health problems, lack of viability of the child or if she was a victim of rape. Do both parties share the same personal and/or religious views about abortion?
5. Debt: There is nothing that can take the shine off a relationship faster than finding out later rather than sooner that one or both partners have significant credit card, student loan or other consumer debt. Be completely open about the state of both of your finances and consider how to get them in order before you walk down the aisle.
6. Money management: How will you pay the family bills? Will each of you contribute the same amount monthly or pro-rate expenses based on income levels? Will you consolidate your finances or maintain different bank accounts? Who will be responsible for managing and reconciling accounts on a regular basis?
7. Pre-nup: Is one of you older or more affluent? Have one or both of you been married before? Is one of you part owner of a family business? In these circumstances your prospective spouse may ask you to sign a pre-nuptial agreement giving up some of your rights on divorce. If so, be realistic and get independent legal advice before you agree.
8. City vs. country: Where will you live? Are you willing to trade off a smaller apartment in the city for a detached house in the suburbs and a daily two-hour commute? Is living in a rural area on a huge lot a priority or is it important to you to be part of an urban community?
9. Household chores: Are both of you neat freaks or is one of you a slob? Who is going to do what in the home and how often? If both of you are working are you open to hiring someone to do regular house cleaning for you?
10. Resolving conflict: Can you discuss your feelings openly? Every couple has disagreements. How will you handle yours? Are you willing to consider counseling if problems arise the two if you can’t handle easily?
    

Relationships are dynamic and the discussions you have before the big day are not cast in stone. But if you build your life together based on open communication and shared values, chances are greater that when you encounter inevitable roadblocks down the road you will find a way to work together to overcome these obstacles.